As today’s column (see below) mentioned, my research assistant and I recently attended NY Women in Communications’ Night of the Coaches, a career coaching roundtable event featuring 10 career experts tackling all different career topics. One of the sessions my assistant attended was called “Stepping Up for Yourself Nicely with Words and Actions” and covered the  issues women face at work, specifcally regarding confidence and how to position ourselves  for success with certain words and body language.

The roundtable was led by Daylle Deanna Schwartz, President of Project Self-Empowerment, and the author of several books on the same topic. Schwartz described herself as a “recovering doormat” and a former “people pleaser” who learned to stand up for herself using kindness and assertiveness to get ahead in the music industry, a male-dominated field.

Schwartz said she struggled to be respected at work, because when she was more demanding she was often viewed as nasty, rather than assertive– an issue she did not see happening to men. But overtime she developed strategies to command the attention and respect of her colleagues both male and female. Schwartz overcame her confidence issues and learned to lead without stepping on other people and  became one of the first women to start her own record label. Here are some of the tips she offered:

Never yell or raise your voice. It only gives the other half of the argument what they want– the license to call you unreasonable. Even with employees, if you’re the boss and you want better results, intimidation is never the answer.

“I don’t raise my voice, that gives people what they want,” she said.  “If you come at someone with honey and serious intentions, you get serious results.”

In addressing difficult issues such as confronting a disrespectful or even ineffective coworker, Schwartz said, flattery and empathy is the way to go. Start by pointing out a positive thing they do and express your understanding of the challenges of their job before jumping into the criticism you need to dole out.

She also placed a great deal of emphasis on body language and annunciation. Speaking slowly and calmly projects an air of confidence and keeps your voice from shaking, she advised. Likewise, standing up straight and leaning forward while talking to someone creates a less intimidating persona for yourself. Of course, eye contact and a firm handshake always help as well, Schwartz said.

Speaking with expectation was another area that Schwartz insists will get results. Rather than asking a colleague if they might be able to meet with you, ask them WHEN they can. You deserve the respect and attention it take to get your job done well, but it’s easy to allow people to ignore you if you don’t place expectation in your words.

Finally, Schwartz mentioned the importance of not putting ourselves down and not letting emotions control us. As women, we are emotional beings but not letting that take a hold and not beating ourselves up for making mistakes, allows us to respect ourselves more, in turn commanding the respect of others.

Schwartz opened up the workshop to discussion and many women voiced their own insecurities in their work environments such as not feeling a part of the team when all the other members are  men who talk about sports or other interests that exclude the only female member. Schwartz advised not to be afraid to confront the team members nicely about the issue and explain the desire to be a better part of the team. An employer could only view that as enthusiasm.

Do you have any experiences or advice for gender issues in the workplace?

Check back here soon for more information on the round table discussions at the WICI event.

By Beverly Weinstein

If you’re looking for some relief from the job search blues, there are plenty of organizations offering career seminars at an affordable price. They may be just what you need to lift your spirits and gain some solid career advice at the same time.

The prices to attend vary as widely as the organizations offering them and the caliber of the people leading them. Horizon Media did a free job advice session recently as a goodwill gesture. New York Women In Communications (WICI) offered an affordable “Night of the Coaches” open to members as well as non-members. The price was $41 for non-WICI members and as low as $16 for student members.

I thought I’d sample one of these seminars and along with my research assistant, took in four of the 10 WICI sessions. The evening featured 10 coaches and 10 different topics, ranging from Business Networking that Gets Results to Expanding your Freelance Career. The crowd was diverse, ranging from baby boomers to newly minted and recently laid-off millennial communications professionals. Although this is a women’s organization, there were a few men in attendance. While all sessions had something to offer, some were richer than others.

Here are some highlights: “Negotiating In a Tough Economy” was led by coach Alexandra Duran, founder of Career Transitioning. She offered some great advice and then opened the session up to Q&A, going around the table of 10 to make sure everyone had a chance to participate. The following are some of the key talking points:

• Women underestimate their value when they negotiate for a salary. They leave up to 25% on the table.

• Learn to negotiate better by practicing with a friend or colleague before you talk to the hiring manager about money.

• Make sure to negotiate for title, authority and resources to make ensure you’ll be successful in the new job.

• Don’t think you should be paid less even if it’s a tight economy.

• Never go into a job interview without first researching the company. It will help you demonstrate your value.

• When negotiating for title make sure you know what is standard at the company as well as within the industry.

“Entrepreneurship & Starting Your Own Business,” led by Terry Yoffe, managing director of Try Coaching, took a different approach. Yoffe spent the hour giving each member of her group time to talk about the business they wanted to start and encouraged other members of the group to offer advice and comments.

“Stepping Up for Yourself Nicely with Words and Actions” hosted by Daylle Deanna Schwartz, president of Project Self-Empowerment, focused on problems that plague women in the workforce. Schwartz, the author of several books on women and self-empowerment, suggested practical tips for working women on how to be heard and respected at work. Considerable focus was placed on basics before opening up to general discussion:

• The importance of your body language

• Annunciation and speaking slowly to portray an air of confidence

• Speaking with expectation, ie: not “Can we set up a meeting?” but “When are you available for a meeting?”

“Beyond Facebook: Surviving & Thriving in the new Digital Era” was led by Esmée, an interactive content producer, and focused on digital media and specifically on the go-to professional network, LinkedIn. Esmée showed a power point presentation detailing the specific areas of LinkedIn that should be utilized to up the ante on virtual networking, putting the most emphasis on joining Groups; making introductions to connect with new people; and participating in discussions to establish yourself as an expert in your field.

While the topic of social networking is far deeper than Esmée could delve into in the time allotted, it was a great starter course for beginners. For professionals really looking to become social media experts, however, a seminar devoted to the topic might be a more practical option.

This event was just one of the many that are held constantly nationwide. We’ll be alerting readers to upcoming events in New York we think will be helpful in the coming weeks.

Read the column on MediaPost.

*** Correction to today’s MediaPost column: The published article on Media Post contains an error regarding the name of Alexandra Duran of Alexandra Duran Career Transitioning. Please visit her website at www.alexandraduran.com or email her at alexandra@alexandraduran.com for more information on her great services. We apologize for the error in her name.***

Whether you’re currently employed or looking for a job you may want to check out the NY Women in Communications Career Coach Roundtable. The event will feature well known coaches covering a variety of topics from “How to Reinvent Yourself in Challenging Times” to “Surviving and Thriving in the New Digital Era”.

This seems like a worthwhile event that is especially relevant in the current economy. We’ll be attending and reporting on some of the sessions so check back next week for feedback.

Fee to attend is modest, $41. It includes some networking before the event plus  two coaching sessions.  Each session can accommodate 10 people. NY Women in Communications has over 1000 members, so if you’re interested don’t wait to sign up.

“Night of the Coaches” will be held next Tuesday, June 30^th at NYU Kimmel Center. Go to their Web site at www.nywici.org for details.